I have scored another victory that I seriously thought would take much longer and many more pounds to reach. I am no longer consigned to that particular shopping hell known as the plus size department! I have hated being stuck in this fashion purgatory for so many years. Oh regular size clothing, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.
First off, one always pays more for plus size clothing. It’s not like my clothes had to be made by Omar the Tentmaker, either. My tops and pants did not require copious amount of extra yardage in the fabric department. I had not sunk to the fashion depths of muumuus and caftans. I just needed a little extra fabric in the, ahem, bosom and waist areas shall we say. So the added costs for these clothing items always seemed obscenely unfair to me.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly (at least to me) plus size clothing tends to be UGLY AND MATRONLY!!!!! I maybe a mother and a grandmother but I am not MATRONLY dammit! Clothing shopping has been no fun at all for a very long time. Except maybe for Coldwater Creek AKA Coldwater River (inside joke that only one or two of my friends will get). They at least make almost all of their normal size clothing in plus size as well and they used to charge the same price, but even they started charging extra for plus size in the past few years. But at least they were a reliable source of reasonably nice looking clothes in my size and if I hit the outlet store when everything was an additional 40% off, also reasonably priced.
Let me give another example of the misery of clothing shopping in plus sizes. A year and a half ago my son and daughter in law got married. I was so happy and excited about the wedding until the realization sunk in that I had to buy a mother of the groom dress. Not only that, but I had to do it on a budget, since I had travel costs to get to this wedding and not just my own. I was helping other family members get to the wedding and purchase a bridesmaid and a flower girl dress and rent a groomsmen’s tux. So the amount of money I was willing to spend on my dress was limited. I started shopping and to quote my old friend Sheldon Cooper PhD., “What fresh Hell is this?” I agonized for many hours, first in the shopping mall and bridal stores and then online. It was absolutely mortifying. Although I did finally end up with a pretty dress that received numerous compliments (thank you Macy’s online) the shopping experience was complete and utter agony.
As I have been losing weight I have found that all of my very best plus size tops have gotten too big and I am running out of clothing options. Granted I work from home and spend half of my day in my jammies, but I do venture out from time to time and my wardrobe options are becoming limited. I needed to make a Target run last night for a few various household items and I thought to myself, “Dare I peruse the tops in the junior department at Target? Will I embarrass myself?” I bravely wandered over to the display of tank tops and tee shirts – on sale! I tried to look nonchalant, as if I belonged there. I glanced around nervously to make sure no one was looking and held up a tank top. It looked like it might cover me. Hmmm… they were on sale for a twofer price so I snagged two and dropped them in my cart. Then I furtively grabbed a vee-necked tee shirt and added it to the pile. I didn’t go to the dressing room and try them on. Not my style. I like to try things on at home so that when they don’t fit and I look like a sausage because I squeezed myself into something way too small, no one will hear me cry except for my cat. He is very understanding and will try to comfort me.
I got home with my purchases and dropped the bag on my bed after putting away the groceries and TP that I had been my original reason for going to Target. The moment of truth had arrived and I was scared to go through with it. Maybe I’ll wait until morning. I can be a big sissypants sometimes. I was already envisioning having to slink back to Target and return my purchases and pretend that my reason for returning was anything but the fact that they were too small. No ma’am, nothing wrong with them, I just decided I didn’t like the colors. Really???? I gave myself a few mental slaps, took my tops out of the bag and tried them on. And they actually fit without making me look like a sausage. And I almost cried.
No comments:
Post a Comment