I admit that I have gotten lazy about blogging of late. There are several reasons for this, the number one reason being an insanely busy work schedule, but also a plethora of visitors (living in Florida guarantees a steady stream of guests – all most welcome!), and sadly, a death in the family that meant an emergency trip back home to Missouri. The upside of the unexpected Missouri trip was twofold. First and foremost was the time I was able to spend with my family as we mourned the passing a loved one. But secondly, and surprisingly, was the motivation that came from seeing how my lovely daughter had taken charge of her eating habits and fitness routine and was looking particularly stunning! She really inspired me to keep going in so many ways.

Let me back up a bit - I had recently received a Garmin Vivofit via FedEx, thanks to my company. They sent them to all of their employees to encourage us to take part in a fitness challenge. This was after all of my guests had left and before the last minute trip to Missouri. I started using it on April 26th and it was a fantastic motivator to get back into the habit of daily walking. I freaking LOVE this thing! If I don’t make my daily steps goal, even if there is a perfectly legitimate reason, it drives me INSANE! I HAVE TO MAKE MY GOAL! Every. Single. Day. Have to.

So while I was in Missouri, thanks to Vivofit and my gorgeous, very fit and slim daughter, I was out walking almost every day like a BOSS. Which I totally needed to do, because it offset some pretty bad eating that happened while I was in the magical land of the best BBQ on the planet, which includes my son’s BBQ in particular. And then there was my daughter’s Cowboy Spaghetti……… But, even with all of that I managed to maintain, so it’s all good.

What’s good about the whole maintaining thing is that I know that I don’t have to say goodbye to some of my favorite foods forever. I just have to partake in moderation and keep up with my walking. So this is really good, because it means that now, once again, I feel ready to make some short term food sacrifices in order to actually lose some more weight, knowing that when I hit that next weight loss goal, it’s going to be OK to indulge once in a while on my favorite foods, because this is NOT a diet, it’s a lifestyle change and nothing is off limits forever. So, Atkins, here I come. Bring on the Atkins bars for breakfast and lunch and grilled chicken and salad for dinner. I am soooo gonna bust this plateau!

One thing that I think (I hope) has finally happened is that I have truly changed my relationship with food. I can enjoy foods that I really love as an occasional treat and I don’t feel the need to go back for seconds just because it’s so yummy. If I am full, then I can stop. It has taken a long time for me to no longer need food for comfort. I actually take more comfort now in my walks. But my biggest comfort is my loving family and friends. Sometimes we have to step back and look at the bigger picture when we are binge eating, or just eating stuff that we know is bad for us and look to what’s good in our lives and realize that we want to be around for a long time to enjoy what is good in our lives. Playing with my grandchildren is far more important to me than eating an extra slice of pizza. Being able to chase after those fast little boogers is far more important than a piece of cheesecake.

And one more pretty great thing happened. The weather turned quite a bit cooler the second week I was in Missouri, and I had failed to pack for Missouri’s famously bi-polar weather. Smacks self in forehead. Daughter was out running errands and I wanted to take my walk on my lunch break but I really needed something long sleeved. Being able to rummage in her closet and pull out a top that fit me – priceless!!!!!

Silver Linings Playbook of the Former Athlete

Hello all. It’s me again, writing with my ashamed face on. I have gotten lazy about blogging and I am beginning to wonder if this isn’t maybe, at least in some small way, partly responsible for my current weight loss plateau. There. I said it. I have been in a plateau since the beginning of the year and we are nearly three whole months into the new year and I haven’t lost any more weight. NONE! And I promise, I have been faithfully exercising and sticking to my low carb lifestyle with very few cheat days. (We won’t discuss my little “vacation” from my low carb lifestyle on my recent Orlando vacation because I have already atoned for that and am saving that for another blog post.) In fact, if anything, I have actually increased my number of exercise minutes per week. So maybe, if I start blogging on a more regular basis I will be more motivated to adhere to better portion control, take fewer cheat days or start a new, more intense workout video.

Can a weight plateau have a silver lining? I say most emphatically YES! You see, I have always been a glass half full kinda gal. Always. With one notable exception – when it comes to weight loss, I have always managed to look at weight loss plateaus and diet slip-ups with a glass half full attitude. Scratch that. Make it a glass completely empty attitude. If I hit a weight plateau for more than two weeks I would get soooooo depressed and eventually drown my sorrows with a heaping plate of nachos or a whole bag of Fritos, or well…maybe both. Plus wine. LOTS of wine. Then the shame spiral would start, ending with complete and total abandonment of my whole diet and exercise plan, complete weight regain, plus some (read A LOT). Epic fail. I beat myself up, called myself Fatty McButterpants and resigned myself to a life spent shopping in the seventh circle of Hell known as the Plus Size Department.

Well friends, not anymore. I am now officially the perpetually glass half full gal in this regard as well. I choose to look at this current plateau in a completely positive light because I have NOT REGAINED ANY WEIGHT!!!!! I have maintained my totes awesome weight loss. I have continued to exercise. I have continued to eschew all manner of bad carbs and to drink lots of water every single day (except on a certain Disney/Universal vacation binge weekend which shall remain nameless). So this is a GOOD thing. You see, in the past, every single time that I have gone on some kind of diet and lost any amount of weight, whether a significant amount or just 10 pounds, I have always, without fail, regained Every Single Ounce and packed on few more pounds to keep my newly regained pounds company, you know, in case they got lonely. I might also mention that I usually managed to accomplish my weight re- gain at warp speed.

Three months of weight maintenance is unheard of for me, so I will pat myself on the back for that, but I will also pick up the pace of my exercise. Bring on the more challenging workout routines. I’m game. Bring on the sore muscles, the sweat and me swearing most inventively at the aerobics instructor on the TV. My next goal, besides dropping another dress size, is to get off from my blood pressure medicine once and for all. I am on such a low dose as it is already and my BP is trending at 115/70 – 120/70, so I am betting another 10-15 pounds ought to do the trick. My reward if I accomplish this? Simply the knowledge that I have reached another big health goal. Oh, and maybe a cute new bathing suit. Summer is almost here!

The Great Closet Purge of 2014

When I saw my doctor a few days ago, I told him that I was getting rid of all of my fat clothes so they wouldn't be there as a crutch to fall back on should I start to regain weight. I was dead serious about this. In fact, I had performed a smaller closet purge in November before heading north for the holidays. While in the process of trying to find fall and winter clothes that would fit me to pack for my trip, I had come across some jeans and tops that really were way too big, so into the trash bag to take to the Goodwill drop they went. While I was at at it, I purged a lot of shorts, capris and summer tops that had gotten too big, plus some random shoes that I really never wore for various reasons. It was about three trash bags full.

So here is my big confession. I am a clothes hoarder. I keep clothes that I have outgrown in hopes that someday they will fit me again. I keep clothes that have a sentimental value attached - tee shirts from vacations and karate tournaments and such. And I had WAY too many clothes. In part, because I had such a wide variety of sizes as my body expanded over the years, but also in large part because growing up poor and wearing clothes that were nearly all hand made or hand-me-down instead of store bought, once I had the means to purchase nicer clothing, I did so. Sometimes with a vengeance. Don't get me wrong - I was never one to purchase designer clothes or anything egregious like that. I am way too practical to spend enough money for a family vacation on a single item of clothing. But I did like to have lots of clothing options because a.) I'm inherently lazy and this meant that I could go longer between laundry days and b.) I didn't have lots of clothing options growing up and having lots of clothes was FUN. Don't judge me. I also had a LOT of clothes from Coldwater Creek. Because I worked in a job where professional attire was expected, as I got heavier and discovered how difficult it was to find attractive, professional clothing in my size, I found to my great delight that Coldwater Creek made nearly all of their regular sized clothing in the exact same styles and colors in plus size. Hallelujah! And the other thing that I simply ADORED about Coldwater Creek clothing was this wondrous miracle fabric called Travel Knit. It became my new BFF. Travel Knit clothing has a lovely drape that does not cling to ones unsightly bumps and bulges and everything has an elastic waist. The the skirts and pants are as comfortable as pajamas and the elastic waist never pinched my ever expanding midsection. The clothes were comfortable, flattering, professional and did I mention, this Travel Knit stuff DOES NOT WRINKLE. EVER. You can wad it up in a ball at the bottom of your hamper and then yank it back out days later in an emergency, shake it out and put it on and no one is the wiser. They don't call it Travel Knit for nothing. This stuff packs like a champ, And when I started working as a consultant and had to travel to client sites, my Coldwater Creek Travel Knit wardrobe was a godsend. Needless to say, I had a LOT of this stuff.

Fast forward three and half years and my client engagement has had me working from home 100% of the time for over three years, so my work wardrobe consists of PJs, shorts and tee shirts or tanks tops. I have far fewer occasions that require me to wear nicer clothing, but I kept that closet full of Coldwater Creek clothes because I know that all good things come to an end and eventually I will move on to another client and will most likely have to travel again and wear professional clothing like a grown up again. Wah.

Now, remember what I told my doctor? Well, when I got home and unpacked my winter clothes from my trip up north, I already had some clothes I had gotten too small for during my stint in Missouri, so they went straight into a trash bag for the Goodwill instead of into my closet and then the trash bag sat on my bedroom floor for a couple of days, waiting to be filled up. After my doctors appointment I made a desultory sweep through my closet and topped off that trash bag and tied it up. I finally got around to dropping it off yesterday. Which made me think that it was time for me to really and truly make good on that promise I made to my doctor, so after running a few more errands, I came home and started my closet purge in earnest. I spent the afternoon trying on clothes that I had been holding on to in hope that someday they would fit again. To my great delight and astonishment, not only did they not fit, they were WAY TOO BIG. I mean REALLY WAY TOO BIG! Somewhere along the line I missed that window of "Oh YAY - these jeans finally fit me again." and went straight to "OMG these jeans are HUGE on me!" This was truly a WOW moment for me. I had to adjourn at 5:00 because I a girls night planned with a friend, but I was eager to reconvene my closet intervention this morning. So after some coffee I eagerly attacked both of my closets. I have my walk-in in the master bedroom, but I also had some winter clothes, and too-small clothes stored in the closet in the other bedroom. Jeans, blouses, skirts, coats, dresses - I couldn't believe the massive amount of clothes that I had hoarded that no longer fit me. Happily, there were also a few smaller sized, really pretty skirts that I had hung onto for years that actually DO fit me now and I moved them into the master bedroom closet. In the process of filling up the trash bags of clothes to donate, I decided that I had liberated enough hangers to finally get rid of all if my wire hangers as I heard the ghost of Joan Crawford screaming in my head. I put most of the newly emptied hangers in the other bedroom closet and then had a little OCD fun arranging them by color. Don't ask. Because I really don't know why.

And on a fun little side note, when I went to my girlfriends house last night for munchies, margaritas and movie night, she mentioned how much I was starting to really resemble my Throwback Thursday pictures. She never knew the old, thinner me because we only met 6 years ago. When she said that it made my whole year. Seriously. Thanks Kim. I heart you.

New Year's Resolutions and Why I Don't Need Them

I think think this E-Card pretty much sums up my feelings about New Year's resolutions. Many people - and that includes me in years past - make well intentioned, but ultimately doomed-to-failure resolutions. You start out with goals that are either too unrealistic, vague or both. You know what I'm talking about. Like the time you (read ME) said on New Year's Day "I am going to lose 50 pounds, get 6 pack abs and sport a string bikini in 6 weeks." Yeah right. So on day one you go out and buy Slim Fast shakes and join a gym. You go to the gym 6 days a week the first week and drink those shakes and eat your sensible dinner meal of dry chicken breast and a salad with nasty tasting fat free salad dressing. Week two - Monday rolls around and you find lots of excuses not to go to the gym, the main excuse being that your ENTIRE body hurts from overdoing it at the gym during week one, like an idiot. You drink that Slim Fast shake for breakfast and by lunch time you tell yourself that you DESERVE that Big Mac because you worked SO HARD at the gym last week and you are so sore, that surely one little Big Mac won't hurt. Plus, you are super cranky and hungry from that horrible diet and you are sure that this will cure the headache that you have had for an entire week. And sadly, it WILL cure that headache. It will also cause the death spiral for your diet and exercise resolutions and by summer time, not only will you not have 6 pack abs or a bikini body, you will be on the phone cancelling your gym membership, all the while trying not to crunch those potato chips too loudly into the phone as you make your lame excuses to the person on the other end of the conversation. And you will buy a new, bigger and uglier bathing suit than the one your wore last summer.

So several years ago I stopped making New Year's resolutions altogether. This absolved me of all guilt when said resolutions were broken by Valentine's Day. Fast forward to New Year's Day 2014. This year things are really, really different for me. I did not make a New Year's resolution. Instead, I made a New Year's reaffirmation. A reaffirmation of the lifestyle change I made on August 1, 2013. I try not to refer to it as a diet and exercise plan because it really is a lifestyle change. Exercise has become a habit and not something that I have to talk myself into. In fact, I feel downright antsy if I miss a few days, like I did earlier this month due to a combination of the the polar vortex that coincided with a really nasty case of bronchitis and laryngitis. By the time this was cleared up it was time to get in my car and spend two days driving home to Florida - no exercise there! I just didn't feel right the whole time. Now that I am back in warmer climes, I am back to walking and it feels good and right and my life is in balance again. And I really only missed a couple of weeks of exercise in total but I hated it! Go figure. The couch potato me of a year ago would not have given a crap.

The other reaffirmation was my eating lifestyle. Although I allowed myself a mini-break from my strict little-or-no-carb lifestyle over the holidays, I had set a goal for December to not gain weight. I don't live in fairy-dust and unicorn-land. I know that is unrealistic to think that I was going to actually lose weight over the holidays when I was going to be baking cookies and pies and making fudge and chocolate peanut clusters. And CHEX MIX! Homemade Chex Mix is a family tradition and that is the one thing I can not say no to. Can. Not. It's like crack. I love me some salty, savory, crunchy Chex Mix heaven. So I knew that I would indulge, possibly to excess. Don't judge - it is only one time a year! My only goal was DON'T. GAIN. WEIGHT. DON'T undo all of the hard work of the previous months. And you know what? I accomplished that goal. Yay me! You want to know how I did it? With the exception of a couple of pretty pathetic Chex Mix binges, I practiced excellent portion control while indulging and I kept up my exercise (except in early January when I was sick) and I did not gain any weight. None. To me, that was a big win and a good test of how the weight maintenance phase of my lifestyle change will work once I have lost the rest of the weight that I would like to lose.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a regularly scheduled weight and blood pressure check since he is monitoring my weight loss closely. In the slightly over two months since my last visit I had managed to lose an additional 12 pounds. He was super impressed! He said he didn't know of anyone that managed that kind of weight loss over the holidays. He was really proud of me and told me over and over how impressed he was. He also cut my statin dosage in half, based on the excellent (read PERFECT) numbers in my last lipid panel, combined with my weight loss. In fact, he is pretty certain that I will be able to stop taking a statin altogether in the very near future. That blew my mind! Oh, and my blood pressure was even lower, so the possibility of getting off from THAT medication may be in my future too. So, I guess this counts as a minor milestone of sorts. Another medication dosage cut in half. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Here's to a Happy, Healthy, Reaffirmed New Year everybody!

Surviving The Holidays, or The Pitfalls of Chex Mix

Well, I got through not one, but TWO Thanksgiving feasts, back to back. Did I pig out? No. In fact, on both days I only ate one plate of food and patted myself on the back for that. That one plate of food was also my only meal of the day both days as well. But did I eat carbs? You bet your mashed potatoes and stuffing I did! Not to mention apple pie and pumpkin pie. And did I pay a price for eating those carbs? Of course I did. Four pounds worth. Did I panic, gnash my teeth and throw in the towel on my whole diet and exercise program as I would have in the past? Absolutely not! I was out walking immediately and other than a couple of more slices of pie over the next few days, the only leftovers I indulged in were turkey, turkey and more turkey and some green bean casserole. No more mashed potatoes of stuffing for me. I quickly lost that four pounds, which was likely more water weight gain than anything. It's a good feeling to know that I can overcome my occasional dietary indiscretions without giving up or beating myself up over them. I more or less planned for the holiday and knew that there would be some temporary weight gain, but I also had complete confidence that it would remain just that - temporary.

The same game plan is in place for Christmas, although for some reason that is a tougher one, what with all kinds of cookie baking happening and my penchant for making and consuming mass quantities of homemade Chex Mix that I will simply HAVE to rein in. And there will, again, be multiple celebrations, so the one plate rule WILL apply each time. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it......

Round Numbers and Other Milestones

I promised in my last post that I would keep my loyal readers updated as I reach any milestones, big or small. Well, this weekend I reached a sort of milestone. My weight loss reached a nice, round number and is almost to the halfway point of my weight loss goal. Close enough for government work anyway. I made this happy discovery Sunday morning and I really wanted to blog about it (OK - maybe I wanted to BRAG about it) but there was just too much going on that day. I had family time with kids and grandkids and then there was this little football game thingy going on Sunday night - a much anticipated football game, I might add. So I didn't get around to it. And on a side note to certain haters out there (ahem Kevin Ross) while my magnificent Chiefs may have lost to the the Broncos - their first loss of the season AND they are the ONLY 9-1 team out there, they played a very respectable game, thank you very much. They held the highest scoring offense in the NFL to the LOWEST score of their season. Take that haters!

ANYWHO.....I made my very happy discovery Sunday morning, which was the morning after attending a family baby shower with the cutest monster theme, where I steadfastly resisted an adorable cake and equally adorable monster sandwiches. I snacked on a handful of mixed nuts and maybe two tablespoonfuls of Chex Mix and I was OK with that. Really! I was! Because I am saving up the majority of my cheating for that big day next week where I will allow myself to indulge in mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing and apple pie and I will do it all guilt free. My portions will be small, and really not due to some super willpower, but mainly because my stomach has shrunken to some ridiculously small size that I can't even imagine what to compare it to. I just know that I get full pretty quickly and I have finally learned to stop eating when I am full, regardless of how tasty the food may be. That has really been the hardest thing to learn. Ever. That may be my real super-duper willpower and I hope I can keep that up for the rest of my life.

So, the big milestone is that I am 40 pounds down! FORTY. POUNDS. I am still just a little bit in shock that I pulled this off in just three and half months, and all without an expensive meal plan or a personal trainer. And although all of the amazing health benefits that I have derived from this weight loss are undeniable, I'm not gonna lie - the best part of this is completely vanity related. So sue me. I am just sooooo happy to have my face back. I look like ME again! And then there is the whole clothes thing. I went shopping with my daughter last night and bought a cute top and a cami to wear layered under it and I was shopping in the very same store and very same size section as my skinny-minny 26 year old daughter! Seriously! How cool is that? For me - very cool. Awesomely cool. As I said before in a previous post, I have totally HATED shopping in the plus size department for all of these years, so this is just huge for me. And getting expensive. I really need to cool it, because I am more than confident that in a month or two I will just have to go out and buy more cute clothes in even smaller sizes, but I felt that 40 pounds deserved a reward, so I rewarded myself at Maurices. Beats the heck out of rewarding myself with food.

The Numbers Game

Let’s talk about numbers, shall we? When dieting, exercising and attempting to get healthy there are all kinds of numbers that matter, numbers that one monitors – sometimes with trepidation and sometimes with outright glee. There’s the number on the scale, the number on the BMI chart, cholesterol and triglyceride level numbers, blood pressure numbers, waist measurements, resting heart rate numbers and the list goes on and on, ad nauseum.

I’ve read countless articles on dieting and weight loss, some helpful, some not so much. Although some say that daily weigh ins are helpful, it seems that the majority of the articles that I have read advise against this practice, some even accusing the offending weight checker as being obsessive. They say things like “don’t judge your success by a number on a scale” and “judge your success by how your clothes fit”. Well boys and girls, what works for some people doesn’t always work for everyone. Yes, I might be that slightly crazed, obsessive weight checker, but this works for me, people! I weigh myself every single morning and record my weight. It keeps me on track and it keeps me 100% honest. I keep this goofy spreadsheet and I will actually put a notation by a weight that may have inched up that says “I ate popcorn at the movie last night! OMG! I’m SUCH a moron!” It serves as a reminder to me that there are consequences to my ill-advised dietary indiscretions and somehow this really seems to work for me.

My little spreadsheet also chronicles those disappointing diet plateaus, pointing out in glaring relief the stretches of days when my weight doesn’t budge an ounce. And that can be uber discouraging. In fact, in the past I found those plateaus would often send me into a depression fueled food binge, which would then bring about a disappointing weight re-gain, followed by more depression, eventual defeat and giving up on the whole diet and exercise debacle, convinced that it was NEVER going to work for me. This time, though, I changed my mindset. I know that plateaus are all part of process and that patience is a virtue and blah, blah, blah. But most importantly I refuse to let a plateau ruin all of my progress the way it used to. I have a column to the right of my weight column, in which I record minutes of exercise. I have seen plateaus busted by simply upping the exercise minutes by 15 minutes a couple times a week and then I am off to the races again. Seeing those numbers lined up side by side help to keep me motivated to stick to my eating plan. Although I don’t log everything I eat (another long held dieting best practice that has never really worked for me) I do log those rare eating mistakes. Since I don’t like seeing those snarky little side notations on the spreadsheet, I am inspired to keep my spreadsheet pristine. OCD much?

So, I have a few magic numbers that I am keeping as personal milestone goals. A weight milestone, a BMI milestone, a blood pressure milestone, a lipid panel milestone, a clothing size milestone…….and some of these are not even my ultimate goals, just shorter term goals to help keep my motivation levels high as I achieve each of them. I am now at the lowest weight I have been in nine years, but there is a number on the scale that I haven’t been below in ten years and want to hit that elusive target before ten years becomes eleven years and I am soooooo close!

And I got the call from my doctor’s office today with one a set of magic numbers that meant I had achieved one of my ultimate health goals and made my doctor very happy in the process. My lipid panel results are in and my cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, HDL cholesterol and triglycerides are PERFECT!!!! This was a biggie, because even on a statin, my triglycerides were always elevated. No more sad eyes from my doctor! In fact the nurse told me several times just how happy he was with my results. It seems that erasing bad carbs from my diet erased the excess triglycerides and my total cholesterol is the lowest it has been in years. Pretty powerful motivation to keep up this new, healthier lifestyle.

I will keep you posted as I reach some more of these magic numbers. Do YOU have a magic number or numbers?